After the Rio Olympics, essentially me having the adrenaline from bouncing up and down on my couch, I decided on reviving a dream of mine and making it larger- go big or go home right?? Previously before becoming a professional couch potato whenever the Olympics were on, I used to love running. Due to having coaches in high school that yelled 30/7 and essentially treated me like the ground they walked on because I wasn't their "Number 1 bae on the track", this made me hate the sport. Before I disregarded the sport completely, I did this 5K run and ended up wining first place in my age group- without the pressure of the coaches I had #bless.

As Rio came to a close I found myself remembering my medal for winning first place in my age group. It made me remember the saying "Hate the player but not the game". I could dislike the coachers I had but that didn't mean I had to disregard the sport like a sock with a hole in it. (sorry, I'm not John Green material) So after seeing the Rio olympics, it reminded me how much I missed that feeling of racing and generally feeling productive. 

It was then that I decided that why not give it a shot? Why not try to become apart of the USA Olympic Tokyo 2020 team for running? It can't hurt- I'd much rather try and not succeed than not even try at all. The most difficult part about a dream is taking the first step to making it a reality, but once you get started it's not as hard as your brain keeps trying to convince you it is.

.....

Well I'm hoping it isn't......

@ brain R E L A X pls

---

PS. Highkey waiting for Michael Phelps to come to Tokyo 2020 as a plot twist. 

Sahara xo

A few nights ago, a day before an exam, my family had a late dinner and already had my plate made, but I took an early night to wake up early to study and thus did not eat dinner. Then I woke up at around 4:00AM to study for this exam. I've somehow managed to fall into the path of putting this exam above my family and my health. Is this right? NOPE. Did I think it was right at the time? SOMEHOW MY BRAIN TICKED THE YES BOX FOR THIS.

I put all my time into an academic subject and it didn't turn out the way it should have. I felt drained for the few days after the exam because I was playing catch-up on my sleep. This made me realize that exams SHOULD NOT be put at a higher level than your family and health. Life as a college student sometimes has me reversing those roles; exams left and right I can't believe I'm not an exam ( see what I did there like the slogan "I can't believe I'm not butter... no... okay carry on reading ignore that hahaha)

Actual photo of my brain when I saw a question during the exam.

As I think back at my grade and basically have thousands of metaphorical deaths inside me every time I look at it I think to myself: By some miracle it is not the end of the world. The world is doing it's rotations and I still have a heartbeat that beats 232894320 times faster every time I look at my exam grade.

Although this exam didn't turn out as planned, I should see what I can learn from it. I should study every week the material not just cram it into 48 hours of studying. The brain is like a sponge, and like a sponge it can only absorb so much. By looking at my exam today, I realized how the professor phrases questions and how to prepare for the next exam. My study habits will now include knowing how to answer correctly instead of falling into the trap of being between B and C. (As is always the goal knowing the answer instead of playing the game of which one LOOKS better)

Instead of feeling upset, I would feel happy with my next exam because after seeing how the professor phrases her questions and the ways I could improve my study habits, I will go into the next exam confident in the knowledge I absorbed. And that's really the goal, not the letter grade, but actually understanding what's being taught.

Sahara x