A few nights ago, a day before an exam, my family had a late dinner and already had my plate made, but I took an early night to wake up early to study and thus did not eat dinner. Then I woke up at around 4:00AM to study for this exam. I've somehow managed to fall into the path of putting this exam above my family and my health. Is this right? NOPE. Did I think it was right at the time? SOMEHOW MY BRAIN TICKED THE YES BOX FOR THIS.
I put all my time into an academic subject and it didn't turn out the way it should have. I felt drained for the few days after the exam because I was playing catch-up on my sleep. This made me realize that exams SHOULD NOT be put at a higher level than your family and health. Life as a college student sometimes has me reversing those roles; exams left and right I can't believe I'm not an exam ( see what I did there like the slogan "I can't believe I'm not butter... no... okay carry on reading ignore that hahaha)
Actual photo of my brain when I saw a question during the exam.
As I think back at my grade and basically have thousands of metaphorical deaths inside me every time I look at it I think to myself: By some miracle it is not the end of the world. The world is doing it's rotations and I still have a heartbeat that beats 232894320 times faster every time I look at my exam grade.
Although this exam didn't turn out as planned, I should see what I can learn from it. I should study every week the material not just cram it into 48 hours of studying. The brain is like a sponge, and like a sponge it can only absorb so much. By looking at my exam today, I realized how the professor phrases questions and how to prepare for the next exam. My study habits will now include knowing how to answer correctly instead of falling into the trap of being between B and C. (As is always the goal knowing the answer instead of playing the game of which one LOOKS better)
Instead of feeling upset, I would feel happy with my next exam because after seeing how the professor phrases her questions and the ways I could improve my study habits, I will go into the next exam confident in the knowledge I absorbed. And that's really the goal, not the letter grade, but actually understanding what's being taught.
Sahara x
